


Alma Mater

by westernredcedar



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alicia POV, Character Study, College, F/M, Gen, Omgcpwomen zine, mothers and sons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 18:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westernredcedar/pseuds/westernredcedar
Summary: No one expects Alicia Swanson to go to college. She chooses that herself.





	Alma Mater

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the fabulous omgcpwomen 'zine! Huge thanks to sellahdor for the beta and to Karo for putting together the project. Download and enjoy the gorgeous 'zine [here](https://omgcpwomen.tumblr.com/post/161138167722/click-here-to-download-the-women-of-check-please).

No one expects Alicia Swanson to go to college. She’d spent her childhood recreating Halston looks with the contents of her sisters’ closets, her adolescence worshipping Vivienne Westwood, and now she has contracts with Revlon and DKNY, walks shows in Milan and Tokyo, and just shot her first cover for Elle. College should be the last thing on her mind.

But she’s never been one to do things halfway. She studies for AP exams anyway, in hotel rooms in Rome and Paris. She mails in final papers from London. She’s not sure why she does it, except for the fact that no one in her life thinks she can (she tries not to listen anymore to the refrain of, _“Don’t waste your time, beautiful.”_ ). When her diploma arrives declaring that she is a high school graduate, her parents and manager treat her to tiramisu at a chic restaurant in Soho. 

At nineteen, she’s in her prime, working constantly. She quietly goes about her business, trying to stay ahead of the pack. She can model for several more years at this level, no question, if she stays focused. _Alicia Swanson_ isn’t exactly a household name yet, but she’s getting there, especially in high fashion circles. No one would dream of suggesting she give it all up and go to college. 

She chooses that herself.

*

It’s at some sort of gala event, just before her twentieth birthday. It takes a while for her to notice, but she’s being introduced to men all night. A film director, a baseball player, a TV actor she vaguely recognizes (no time for TV, really). Indistinguishable suits with indistinguishable banter. She doesn’t understand at first, but then one of them (another director, if she remembers correctly) puts a possessive hand on her elbow, whispers in her ear ( _”I can get you to that next level, sweetheart.”_ ), and turns her until nearby cameras flash. Suddenly, she understands. 

She isn’t in this to be a professional girlfriend. 

Alicia sends in her registration paperwork for the SAT the next day, and applies to three colleges before even telling anyone.

*

Alicia picks Samwell in the end because it’s the most liberal of her three choices, and honestly, when she has to make her decision she’s been living in Milan for a month with a six foot one Nigerian supermodel, her small Italian girlfriend, and an avant garde designer who calls himself Solange. She’s hoping to reduce her culture shock. 

She lives in the dorms, takes a full load of courses, is able to do print work off and on to keep herself in the game and keep her agent happy. Her roommate, Alison, is an outgoing, studious biology student from New York City who is thinking about going pre-med. Alison pulls Alicia out of herself, drags her to the dining hall and study breaks and arch sings, and it's a surprise how much Alicia loves being close with someone who doesn’t care at all about her modeling. 

In the end, she makes three lifelong friends, has two major relationships, spends a semester in Stockholm, majors in economics, and still manages to land two more covers. DKNY extends her contract. Through a friend in her acting class, she’s offered a small role in an action film, and takes it; it’s a summer shoot.

The dire predictions of her manager prove false. The fashion world isn’t lost to her. She books three shows right after graduation, newly minted diploma and all, with a side order of Hollywood. When her agent suggests a meeting with the frontman of some hot new band, she recognizes it for what it is this time and says a firm no. She’s fairly certain going to Samwell is the best decision she’s made since she was thirteen and begged her mother to sign her with a modeling agency. 

*

About a year after graduation, Alison invites Alicia to a fundraiser she’s helped organize. There she meets a tall, gangly fellow named Bobby, who’s wearing an ugly suit three years out of style and has his mouth full of crab cake when he tries to say hello in an indecipherable accent. He seems impressed by how much she knows about hockey from her time in Sweden. She tries out the little bits of French she’s learned to get by in Paris. After he learns about her degree, he keeps asking her financial advice, such as, “I should buy this most expensive champagne, yes? This makes good sense?” When he laughs, his face is ridiculous, and she can’t look away.

They stay out all night, and even before the sun rises, Alicia thinks _I might marry this man_.

*

One of the reasons their relationship works, Alicia realizes later, is that they are both obsessed with their careers, and don’t have time to resent absences or long separations. She goes back to Europe for two months. The Penguins stage a playoff run that keeps Bobby on the road or in hotels for weeks.

It doesn’t occur to either of them that their child will not be as flexible and open-minded about their schedules as they are with each other. 

*

When Jack is eight, Alicia finds him crying in the bathroom and holds him close until he finally says, “I don’t want you to leave again,” in his thick accent, so unlike her own.

She starts turning down jobs that last longer than three days. Bobby is in his final year. They will have time for Jack then. She holds him close and whispers into his hair, tells him he’s loved, hoping that it is enough. 

*

She recognizes Jack’s single-minded focus, remembers the feeling of certainty she’d had about her own path as a teenager, and how terrifying the thought was that she might not be given a chance to prove herself. 

He’s a listener, like her. Bobby is the talker in their little family. Sometimes she considers that Jack might have an ocean of things to say inside of himself, and she stays up nights trying to figure out how to get him to open up. Instead, he plays hard and has a few friends (well, one, really) and the therapist says he’s making progress. 

When she asks him if he’s okay with her taking a two-week job in L.A., Jack shrugs and scowls and says he’s fine, and Alicia hopes she’s right to believe him. 

*

Jack finally wants to talk. Alicia can feel his need like a solid presence that walks right into the room with him. However, after everything they’ve been through in the eight months since he’s come home from rehab, she’s learned to just sit back and stay put; the words will start spilling out of him eventually. 

He silently settles in next to her on the sofa, so she leaves him to it, continuing to read her book and wait him out.

He shifts around a bit, and Alicia feels the sofa cushions move as he tucks his feet under himself and then slowly eases over until he can lean up against her, warm arm against her own. After a few more minutes, she feels his head rest gently onto her shoulder. 

Alicia’s heart is pounding. She’s home with her little boy, snuggled up on the sofa like long ago, when she’d come home after a long trip, missing him so much. She can’t move or speak, scared of breaking the spell. They sit like that for several long minutes, and Alicia reads the same line of her novel over and over. 

Finally, Jack draws in a deep breath, loud enough for her to hear. “I think I might apply to college,” he says. 

_College._ No one expects Jack to go to college. 

She shifts, and he sinks in closer. “That’s a surprise, honey.”

Quiet. Then, “Yes.”

The heavy silence falls again, until Jack says, “Maybe I’ll start playing again.”

Alicia breathes deep. It all isn’t lost to him. He’s not lost. “Oh?” she manages.

“I was thinking maybe of...Samwell.”

Alicia is barely able to keep her voice even. Says, “Were you? Samwell? That would be wonderful, honey.” 

Dining hall and study breaks and normal life, at least for a while.

Since he’d first strapped on skates, Jack’s seemed destined to follow in his father’s footsteps, but suddenly Alicia wonders if maybe he’s actually been following in hers all along.


End file.
